It was seriously bad. I vomit sushi all the time and the only thing that could make my tummy happy was a plate of nasi lemak or roti canai and tones of bread. Yeap, that was ze life I had.. but all was well! I didn't regret a single thing, in fact I don't mind doing it all over again because basically to be having another life growing inside you is not easy and not everyone is able to feel it, so having to go through all the things mentioned, I was beyond ecstatic!
Syukur for the opportunity given, I am blessed more than I thought and I totally believe that I must have done something right to be deserving this, Alhamdullilah!
Anyway, I quit my job in April the year Aman was born. I was four months pregnant and coming to my second trimester. The job wasn't tough, it was nothing at all but I just couldn't handle it. There was too many issue for my belly to take so the day I left the building was the glorious day of my life! I wished I had done it earlier, hihi :)
Long story short, I had a smooth pregnancy and enjoyed every single moment of it!
Few months later, questions like these starts to hunt me, 'tak nak go back to work ke?', 'tak boring ke duduk rumah tepuk anak je?', 'sia-sia je belajar bertahun-tahun, kesudahnya duduk rumah jugak' and the list goes on. I have to admit it does annoys the hell out of me but after awhile it doesn't really matter anymore because I guess it's me that is living my life, not anyone else so why bother the noise? Sooner or later it will eventually stop kan? My mom always tell me, the beginning is not important, you just have to aim for a good ending.. and it is exactly true!
To me my aim now to grow a healthy and happy family and I know the recipe to it is a good family foundation. I'm not saying I'm that good to not be working or my husband is that rich that I can just sit back and relax, no! Definitely not, but sometimes you just have to stick to your believes. I almost did put myself pack on the 'working mommy' chair but on the second bell I end up coming back to my senses and things just don't seem to be working on how I want it to be. So I guess it's not my rezeki yet right?
I've also seen so many working mommies struggling getting ends meet and some to no avail end up broke down in the middle. Today, the world doesn't work like yesterday where good maids and nannies was everywhere, they'll come to you in a snap t... now not only you need a good amount of money to hire them, they also know how to demand for an expensive wage and at the end of the day they feed your kid with bad milk! Not only that, they will also provide you with extensive annoying wish list too :(
Day care needs another chapter for me to start on. The thing is, things are not as easy as it used to be. I'm not saying everyone is bad, if you are left with no choice then by all means do it but looking at the 99% spoilt milk, it's really hard to find that diamond in the rough. No one wants to wish for the bad but its better to safe than sorry. This is just a matter of choices and self-understanding which I really hope all the people asking all these questions would at least look at the bigger picture.
I won't deny that having a monthly salary that goes ka-ching in your bank account is always a good idea. Getting your dream bag every month would be the ultimate goal and getting to play make up and dress up every morning is equally exciting but truth is, not everyone is able to do it because now multi tasking is luxury on a whole new level.
Its true that there are days that I feel if I'm better off going to work, doing things that I love, having my own me time and enjoy my own wage rather than scrubbing the toilet and changing diapers but after much thought I think I'm happier wiping off drools. I know at least I won't hog anyone or my mother to take care of my son and let her have her peace time going to her daily ritual classes and feeling sessions at Tous Les Jours. Maybe my dream Chanel might need to wait another five years from its initial plan but one thing for sure I know my son is going to be on time for his first Bismillah and Alhamdullilah, insyaAllah.
Yay to many more days to hog your Mommy kan Aman? #tilljannah
